For all my friends who have had and are having babies after me!

I had a little facebook message from an old school friend today saying how she had "joined the motherhood group at last!". I replied straight away saying how gorgeous her baby was, wishing her well and welcoming her to our gang! That was all I said, but there was so much more I wanted to say, so much that there was to say - but we just don't do we? We keep it all in - we smile, we goo, we say all the right things (yes you've nearly lost all the weight already, oh wow you are glowing, you are such a good mum etc etc). How does that leave the new mum? All aglow?? I really don't know - all our experiences are so different, but I do sometimes wonder are they really THAT different. In the quiet, sleepless, dark are a lot of us having exactly the same feelings, but just not able to openly talk abt them with anyone? I remember those dark days still - enough to see newborn pictures and feel a sense of relief (that I am not there anymore) and fear that I might be silly enough to do it all again. I remember being on the brink of something scary many, many times. The baby howling, and me howling too...real UGLY crying. The baby howling and me having bad thoughts of ways to stop the crying, me slowly putting the baby down for his own safety. You think that situations like that only happen for very, very ill people..post natal depression ..not me, but in all honesty with as little sleep as us mums get ...who isn't depressed? We still function (just)..we can still socialise...we look like great mums..but some days, some days. So it is for those days new mums that I offer you the best, best talk I had with a passing friend. Someone I didn't know very well at all was coming round for a quick visit to see the baby and catch up. Baby was 6 months and during that time I had, had no more that 2 hours max sleep at any one sitting. My boy was waking up at least every 2 hours for a feed and slept very poorly during the day. I had great friends, but no family who could come and just take him for a few hours..hubby was working 7 days a week and I was beat. My friend took one look at me and said these saving words ...."Oh honey it sucks doesn't it". You do not know how grateful I was to hear those words!! Thank GOD!! I thought I was supposed to be in motherhood heaven..I thought these were the best times..someone had even told me that all babies did was eat and sleep and that it was a bit boring really, a bit boring!! I wished!! My friend then relayed tales of all the best mothers she knew and told me how many times the kids were shipped to the families, daycare or what anti-depressants they were on!! I felt so much better. I could handle the crap times if everyone else found them crap - it was just the idea that I was supposed to be loving the torture that had got me in such a spin. So welcome dear friend to the motherhood group - I'm so sorry I didn't tell you this in my mail, but rest assured YES it can Suck..and that's ok!!