Learning to talk..again!

I am a little frightened to think that my little boy could soon learn to talk. I am fine with the standard duck, up, doggie, mum, but at the moment my son will talk in rather agitated sentences and I have a sneaking suspicion that I am only being saved by the fact that he is, for the time being, quite incoherent. For example , when he hurts himself, or is frustrated by the topical item of the day that he is trying to destroy, I swear I can hear him exclaim "God Damn"! Now I know what you are thinking - but that is not an expression that either my husband or I would typically use (ours are far worse). My theory is that my child has already been in this world. I think that before life with us, he was in fact a cantakerous old guy who is still pee'd off at the way of the land and the youth of today. There are just some things that he will do automatically without seeming to have learnt them and this would also explain his apparent unhappiness during the first year of life "No, No not again..not again!!" This manifested itself today while we were walking home from taking the dog out. Child was in his stroller and he was ranting on very loudly - any passersby thought he was being truly adorable, vocalising his nonsense, but I'm sure if they knew that he was actually saying "and what the hell are you looking at, never seen a bloody baby before..keep your eyes on the road nosey cow..I'll give you something to look at" or something to that effect ....Oh my!! What am I to do!!

For all my friends who had babies before me!!

I never knew to come round in those early days and drop off dinner
I never knew that at 5pm you didn't need to hear abt my day
I never knew that I SHOULD NOT have used the words YOU SHOULD
I never knew that you might like an offer to babysit
I never knew that asking "so what else have you been doing" was rude
I never knew that you were not calling or e-mailing simply because you were too busy
I never knew that you were working so hard - not sitting around watching daytime telly
I never knew you were sometimes lonely
I never knew to come round with a bottle of wine instead of inviting you to the pub
I never knew what a great mum you were being
I know now......

Fi this is especially for you XX